Tell me about someone who does not lie and I'll be more than happy to meet this paragon.

Concealing something is also lying. It is lying by omission. But whatever it is, may it be direct or not, the bottom line is always the same. And that is somebody, no matter how we avoid it, would get hurt. It is not something to be ignored.

But how do you react when the one who lied to you is your partner whom you have silently vowed to trust? Just how do you deal with it? Would you be logical enough to reach reconciliation? True, we all lie but when these lies are revealed to us, there is no way you can conceal the pain even if you are good at it. Somehow, somewhere it will become obvious.

There are several ways of dealing when this kind of situation happens, but we all have our own ways. I have listed five of mine here.

First, be logical. I had been lied which hurts so good. My first intuition was to confront it aggressively, give my all out and give in to the pain. It took a lot of discipline to go up and confront the matter as logically as I could. My rational mind prevailed. I know that following my mind is the right and only way to settle matters. To get carried away by emotions will not only make matters worse but could also destroy trust.

Second, get it out in the open. Don't brush it off your sleeve as if you knew nothing and you are ok, because that is another lie. And what's worse is, you're lying to yourself. You are only pushing it to your subconscious and sooner or later it will surface out. Before you know it, your partner will be ranting back at you “but that happened ages ago!”

Third, be accurate. Think twice or thrice or as many times as you can before saying anything. You have to make sure that the truth you know is really the truth. Don't jump into silly and wrong conclusions. Accuracy of the information at hand is really important to maintain good communication.

Fourth, give the details. Give the answers to the three basic questions and that is what, when and where. Don't leave something out. That is the reason why the sooner you confront the matter, the better results there could be. Brushing it off for later would only make you forget minute but important details of the whole story otherwise you'd only end up more confused.

Fifth, believe and reconcile. If your partner has already admitted and is sorry about it, believe and reconcile. Erase all doubts. An act of admission on your partner's side of the story is harder than to deny the accusation. Pressing for more would only get you nowhere near understanding each other. Just believe in what has been admitted because there are things that are better left unsaid otherwise it could only make things bigger than they already are.

The more I think about it now, the clearer it has become. It took three years of my marriage before I came up with a logical way to deal with things when my partner lies. I know it could become better as we mature together.